One of the advantages of having a band saw is cutting frozen food, like a loaf of frozen bread.
You can always take it out and let it thaw, but this isn't an option if (a) you wife has storing it for a special occasion, (b) you are craving real bread with real crust, and (c) there's no decent bread in the house.
Just trim off a few slices on your band saw and discretely return the loaf to the freezer.
Then just toast it to thaw and enjoy.
Of course, you are not going to fool her with any explanation or excuse, and she is not going to marvel at what a good job of slicing you did.
So you'll still have to take your verbal spanking when the time comes -- unless you polish off the whole loaf and it's disappearance becomes a mystery which you blame on failing memory.
On second thought, you'll still have to face the music, which is likely to be a dirge.
